Crazy Girlღ

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Just got back all my 2nd prelims results last Thurs and Fri..

I failed for all my subjects, except for my Mother Tongue which is by just getting a pass with a marks of 51..

I've always been good in my Maths and Mother Tongue, yet I failed it in my 2 prelims..

I thought I would never care about it..

But the day before yesterday, which is on the Fri night..

Estelle, our cell group leader preached a sermon on "What do I do when I feel like giving up?"

Actually it's all talking about how Jesus Christ was used to be tempted by the devil, Satan, before..

Satan tried to tell Jesus to go the easy way, but He knows that's not the God's way..

Matthew 4:1-11
1Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. 2For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. 3During that time the devil* came and said to him," If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread." 4But Jesus told him, "No! The Scriptures say, 'People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God'*" 5Then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, 6and said, "If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say, 'He will order angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone'*" 7Jesus responded," The Scriptures also say, 'You must not test the Lord your God.'*" 8Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him the kingdoms of the world and all their glory. 9"I will give it all to you," he said, "if you will kneel down and worship me." 10"Get out of here, Satan," Jesus told him. "For the Scriptures say, 'You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.'*" 11Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus.

Eventually, Jesus shut the mouth of the devil and chased him away..

Essentially the whole temptations of Christ was a test of His determination to carry the cross throughout believing for a resurrection without taking a shortcut..

After the sermon, Estelle told us about a story of herself in the past when she feels like giving up, though eventually she did not..

I started to think of how I was so desperate and feel like giving up on my studies starting of the year..

Everything was so bad..

My attendance, my results, my reputation in the school, everything are totally completely bad..

That time I was so desperate and feel like giving up..

I hide myself, lock myself up, not going anywhere, not even the House of God..

Even Evelyn or anyone in the cell group text me or msn me, I didn't even dare to reply..

But I did still prayed to God that time..

But I can't hear any of God's voice..

I was angry to God, but there's no point for me to be angry with the Lord my God.

Finally, during August, after my 1st prelims..

I prayed to God for His words and I opened up my bible, it says:

Psalm 27:1-6
1The Lord is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? 2When evil people come to devour me, when enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3Though a might army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I remain confident. 4The one thing I ask Lord - the thing I seek most - is to live in the house of the Lord all days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections and meditating in his Temple. 5For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. 6Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music.

Immediately, I text Evelyn and ask her about cell group and told her that I will be back to church - the House of God the coming Sat..

She was glad that I finally replied her sms after disappearing for almost 1 year..

And now I'm back..

I'm now still struggling through with my preparations of my O's..

Sometimes I would regret that I didn't go ITE with all my friends, instead of continuing my O levels..

But now, I don't regret anymore, because I know!

I know that whenever I feel like giving up, I should have faith in a gospel..

No matter how desperate I am, I should have faith in God..

Believing Him that He will bring miracles because there's nothing God can't do..

That night after cell group meeting is over, I broke into tears and wept when Estelle asked me about my prelims results..

She prayed for me, Evelyn prayed for me..

Estelle knew that I was getting more and more afraid while the O levels are drawing near and near..

But she text me this: Im certain u will pass e o levels with flying colours, EnEn! :-)

I was so touched and getting a bit of confidence back..

Now I'm trying to force myself study all the way till the O levels are here..

I will do my best, and leave the others to God..

And I'm hoping for a breakthrough come..

Hoping for O level's breakthrough..

Ahhh.. It's 0618 now and I'm going to sleep..

I got to wake up and study..

Screams*

Good morning, I want to sleep..

Written by God's child (: